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Eat.Pray.Love "Dolce far niente!"


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這純粹是一個愛情故事,不是傳説中被敬奉得仿佛應該成爲現代女性聖典的一碗心靈雞湯。女主角走啊走的,繞了半個地球,走囘終點等於走囘從前,繼續模糊地疼惜自己,繼續忐忑地全身投入愛一個人—— 不過換了一個男人,一次激情。有什麽被改變了嗎,換一個人,從年輕時誤以爲有夢想的男人換成成長后真正已經實現夢想的男人,或曰,有錢有貌有智慧有歷練的男人。

我們都需要像Ketut巫師那樣的一個人吧,一個你始終搞不清楚他到底是能預知天命的高人還是純粹懂得洞悉人心的智者,總之,一個能讓你全心相信的人,將一些你本來就知道的人生道理大大力注入你心,不持久無所謂,當下的當頭棒喝也許就改變了下一刻的決定,自此改變了你的一生。家庭主婦義大利媽媽說你需要一個男人,她嗤之以鼻;巫師助手說你來尋找的不過是男人,她苦惱搖頭嘆氣怎麽大家誤會了她崇高的理想呢;Ketut說這是你需要的男人,她立馬轉身飛奔就去了。這三個人當中的差別是什麽,一樣的指引,來自不能讓她信服的沒有華貴地位的看似庸俗麻木的女人,和來自一個被奉為與神同等的男人,差別在人們心中那把秤。

故事怎樣始終無所謂,當中一些關鍵詞卻是很能引起共鳴的。

1. [God, I'm in serious trouble, I don't know what to do.]—— 這個確實是最嚴重的問題而偏偏正好是大部分人面對的問題啊啊,只不過,我們都善於僞裝欺騙自己,讓一堆有的沒的事情圍繞自己忙了自己,然後託辭說我沒時間思考這些那些。然後日子庸庸碌碌過去,至終我們唯一的欣慰就是數算擁有的財富,孩子的成績,等等之類的事了吧。

2. [The complete and merciless devaluation of self.]—— 愛情裏盲目的人們總會不停地自我貶值,從最初被追求的高度自信,漸漸被磨蝕得失去自信,失去自我,逐漸卑微到一個自己無法察覺在別人眼中卻是一目了然的地步。總有那麽一瞬間你想過,怎樣都無所謂,只要你依然愛我就是。像離婚后的短暫戀情中的小男友說的,我們能不能接受我們就是這樣個性不合、天天吵架、天天賭氣但就是不能分開的情侶,只要確認了這一點,那我們可以繼續miserable地生活下去,但因不必分開而得到慰藉。自不快樂中汲取快樂,匪夷所思但當身陷其中真的會讓人相信這是可行的。但無論如何,當你認真覺得你需要將自己卷縮在冰冷地板上以博得他一點憐憫一個擁抱入眠,基本上這個男人已經完全不值得你再愛下去了。他根本不在疼惜你,親愛的,走吧。

3. [Dolce far niente!] —— the sweetness of doing nothing,無所事事的快樂,義大利人驕傲地說,我們不需要電視來告訴我們你需要休息,我們早已是這方面的大師。你們美國人,會因爲廣告說周末應該喝啤酒就將自己喝個爛醉,隔天醒來頭痛然後以爲這是快樂—— 你們懂得娛樂,不懂得樂趣,你們工作太用力了,你們根本不懂享受—— 美國人都已經賦予人們這樣的印象,身爲亞洲人而且出名刻苦耐勞的華人們,要不要思考一下,看看是不是要修煉一下真正的快樂? 放一個假,或讓自己不再幹什麽都覺得内疚,都是我當下迫切需要的。

4. [If you miss me, send your love to me, tell me, then drop it. it won't last forever.] 嗯是的從某一刻起我其實已經學會迷戀一個人不會是永恒的事,問題是,真正讓我放不下的是迷戀時候的快樂—— 像中毒,讓你試了一次,上癮了,你於是願意付出一切再換一次,縱然你明白得到的不會是永恒的但你仍然堅持要。

冥想,Meditation是整個修煉途中最重要的一環。起初,人們需要藉由冥想學習控制自己的思想而這很難,我們總會不知不覺就想到某個很遙遠不干事的東西去。當漸漸掌握得到,能安靜面對自己心中清明,能得到的,據説是你意想不到的。我們都應該學習吧,在這煙霾厚重的煩囂城中。

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